By: Laura Brown
Towards the end of my trip, I was ready to come home. I was getting lonely, weary of not understanding the language around me, my feet and back pain were in full force, and I had found out that my grandfather had passed away while I was in France. I kept reminding myself that I had come to France expecting to concoct a plan to never leave, and it did feel that way the first couple of days! But the bouncing around to different cities was wearing on me, and I was ready for my dog, routine, and my own bed. I’ve never been very good at staying in the moment, and was disappointed that such an epiphany still evaded me.
@lauramegb 2017
Yet of course, as expected, the yearning for France came right back as I settled in at home. I scolded myself for not fully relishing my last two days, whatever that was supposed to look like. My heart ached when I looked through my photos, reliving those moments and wishing I had taken more. I actually woke up in the middle of the night for over a week thinking that I was in an Airbnb. And the rush of work, weddings, family, and other domestic obligations flooded back, making me unsure of when I’ll be able to prioritize another trip.
All I know now is that I must and will get back, and go to more places. And that not having done it all, or having enough pictures, or sitting on benches to relieve my back pain when I wanted to keep walking…is okay. It was my trip and no one else’s. I was afraid the trip had only caused a restless angst in me when I first got home. But now I know that yes, it did change me, for the better. I came back with a new appreciation for my home, a sense of adventure, and am now cultivating an appreciation for the unfamiliar.
@trishlist 2016
Laura Brown is a sign language interpreter in Nashville, Tennessee, where she rebooted her life in 2014. An avid seeker of challenge and growth, she set off on a solo trip to France in March 2017, after never having traveled alone and rarely out of the country. Laura’s love for wine and gastronomy led the way, as she devoured the charms of Paris, Lyon, and Avignon; learning about wanderlust and herself between meals. When not dreaming of her next trip, you can find her cooking, enjoying Nashville with friends, and taking pictures of her dog. She is currently accepting gifted plane tickets back to France.
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SHE ONLY LIVES ONCE or S.O.L.O. is a movement empowering women of all ages to venture off on their own and fall in love with the world around them. This part of the blog hopes to spark curiosity and inspire self-discovery among fellow female travelers by sharing our adventures, mishaps, and most memorable moments. Interested in contributing a short story or photo? Please contact the Trishlist and/or hashtag #trishlist, #solo, or #sheonlylivesonces for a chance to contribute to the blog.